Victim, survivor or_________?
There are three mindsets we can choose from in response to an event. But, not just an event. We tend to form habits of thinking that are easily fall into.
Am I a victim? Am I a survivor? Or________? ……………….Yes, there is a third choice.
- Victim. Someone else’s fault. Lives in the past. No or little accountability. Feelings of suffering and unworthiness. Outside forces are in control. Good at finding negatives in experiences. If only ______had not done or said ____. I’ve been here, and you also in all probability. But we do not need to stay here.
- Survivor. Resilient, endurance, struggle. Focuses on not quitting (instead of winning). Outwardly strong but, may be inwardly doubting their abilities. Mentally exhausted from staying in “survivor mode” too long. Sometimes fear based. Being a survivor is a good first step and progress is essential but, we should not stay here. The question is will I survive or thrive.
- Conqueror. Takes personal responsibility, makes no excuses. Embraces the past and learns from it. Takes massive action. Learns from the past and forgets it; focuses on the present; motivated by the future. Understands that some circumstances are out of their control. Seeks to inspire others by sharing their experience and journey. Instead of going through it they Grow through it. Seeks support from others. Uses accountability. Controls what they focus their mind on. Realizes that we can choose how we respond to an event.
It was Thanksgiving and I had just gone through a difficult personal tragedy. ….Alone. In addition to that the night before my dog had died unexpectedly. Thanksgiving morning I buried her. I sat and prayed, “I’m at the bottom of the barrel looking up. I can’t do this without your help and hand of guidance. Help me to grow through this and not just go through it. I want to be better because of this.”
Over the next year things began to change. It was not a smooth path but, an upward one nevertheless. I was accepted to UGA as a graduate assistant (yes a paying job with free tuition). I was able to sing on stage with the Atlanta Opera. Things began to look up. It was a bumpy road but I was determined to learn from this.
This is the “more than a conqueror” mindset.
It starts with a decision, and is followed by commitment.
Form new good habits.
(Material from: The Game of Conquering by Rob Sperry. Highly recommended.)
I wish you: health, hope, fitness and freedom